


Interlude

by Cissy88



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: First Kiss, I'm not a writer this was a challenge, M/M, Pining Levi, awkwardness allaround, canonverse, pining eren, pls don't stone me, tbh just too many feels, this is literally just schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cissy88/pseuds/Cissy88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dealing with certain feelings for the first time is troublesome, whether you're 15 or 30.<br/>Eren believes in taking chances. Levi decides it's time to not turn his back to luck.<br/>Set after chapter 66, no actual spoilers tho.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> So, what am I even doing here? I'm not a writer. I don't know the first thing about writing, I'm an artist. But today is April Fool's and I promised to partecipate in the Tumblr's Bodyswap Event, so here you have the first thing I've ever written ever aside from schoolwork. It's just literally me vomiting all my feels and some of my headcanons. It took me really too much to write just this little piece, I don't really know how you writers do it. You're all saints.  
> This will be my public embarassment of the year, I've nothing more to lose, you all will see how unbelievably cheesy I am.  
> Enjoy!  
> (Also english is not my first language so sorry for the convolute construction of certain periods..I'm Italian)  
> Edit: now proofread and edited by the wonderful Mysecretfanmoments, you're a true angel.

It happened gradually and silently, like snow piling up in winter; something so natural that when you become aware of it it's already been going on for a while, and when you step on it you sink up to your knees.

At first Levi noticed the evident things: Eren's resolution, his untameable will, his self-sacrificing attitude; he thought “not bad” and something like hope budded inside him. He decided to take responsibility for this new hope, and that was all.

Then time and shared living spaces made him aware of the more subtle aspects of Eren's character: his kindness, his insecurity, his will to please his captain, his innocent but unrelenting heart.

And so his initial fondness for the young man became something more, something he wasn't ready to give a name to—something, he realized, he had never felt before; it was scary.

Despite his renowned social awkwardness, Levi knew how to deal with his emotions about his friends and about what he once considered his family, but these clashing feelings Eren obliviously stirred inside him were something new, and Levi decided to take his time and try to understand himself before doing anything he might regret later.

He had noticed Eren's devotion and adoration, but he was torn about how to act because Eren was so young, so innocent still, in spite of everything he had already experienced, and Levi thought to himself that this puppy love, this hero worship, was best left alone, not to be tarnished by the disappointment that a more intimate relationship could entail. Eren was bright and hopeful; he deserved someone as lively as himself, not an old damaged soldier without real future prospects like Levi. There was no room beside him for Levi and his heavy past, his blood-drenched hands—but he would protect the boy; if there was something good to be gained by enduring these consuming feelings, it was the burning need to protect him and try to give him some well deserved happiness.

He would have been content like that. He wouldn't have demanded more—but along the way he forgot one crucial fact: Eren never gave up. On anything.

It was maddening and it was exhilarating, and as innocent and naive as Eren could be about understanding his own and others’ feelings, he was getting more and more sure about what he wanted and he was starting to believe that his own heart wasn't the only one that stuttered and jumped when he was alone with his captain. The air between them felt more and more charged, and he could feel a strange feeling of melancholy exuding from Levi, like he had to force himself not to do or say something more and more frequently.

He knew he was probably getting his hopes up for nothing, and that the fall would probably hurt a lot, but he was convinced that if there was even a slight possibility he had to try. Levi always said to make the choice you would regret the least, and if Eren didn't take this chance he would regret it forever, or at least until the end of his days. He was well aware of their precarious situation, of their uncertain future and probably short life span. Seizing the day didn't seem like such a reckless choice.

So through training days and missions gone wrong, kidnappings and reunions, steps forward and setbacks, they continued almost unknowingly to dance around each other, with a care and gentleness that was adorably frustrating for everyone around them—or at least that was what Hanji used to say, Moblit usually nodded and took note.

Now they were in Sina, a place Eren didn't feel really comfortable in: too restrictive, too walled in, too full of snobby useless rich nobles. Erwin and Hanji were busy planning their next moves, speaking with important people and trying to put the Corps back together. The 104th was given leave for a week, to rest, heal and try to get their bearings; they were all currently sleeping like rocks after the strenuous fight with the “chicken-Titan” as Sasha had called it.

All but Eren, who despite feeling exhausted was restless, like he was storing an energy—a tension—that couldn't find an outlet though physical exertion. It was born from inner turmoil, and he knew where it stemmed from; being finally reunited with everyone was good, but being reunited with Levi was thrilling.

Sick at last of lying in bed without the chance to sleep, he got up and decided to go to the balcony in the common room of their current headquarters. He was padding barefoot as quietly as he could when he noticed a beam of light coming from the barely open kitchen door. Eren pushed the door open and was unsurprised to see Levi sitting at the table, staring pensively at the tea in his cup. Eren hesitated a bit on the threshold, not sure of his welcome, and Levi was the first to speak after noticing his presence:

“Eren.”

A moment passed and Eren nodded.

“Can't sleep?”

Not really a question; almost a statement. Eren wasn't sure if Levi meant it for him or for himself.

Eren nodded anyway and approached the table: “I wanted to breathe some fresh air. I was going on the balcony; I didn't mean to disturb you”.

“Nonsense,” replied Levi. “Let's go then, even if the air always seems stale inside these shitty walls.”

Eren was taken aback but he certainly wasn't going to protest, and he led the way until they were outside, forearms resting on the banister and eyes roaming the city lights.

The silence was comfortable. That was something Eren learned early on: that Levi wasn't a great talker—he remained silent when he had nothing important to say—but his silence wasn't oppressive. It made him feel welcome, and he'd always been happy just sharing his captain’s space, but tonight Eren was too full of contrasting emotions to remain silent, and he was racking his brain for a suitable topic of discussion; he didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere, so he was trying to avoid speaking about the war, the Titans, their current situation,.. if he was honest with himself he was sick of thinking about all that. He needed a bit of time to recharge before he could be passionate about that again, but this left him at a loss: what could he talk about with Levi? Was it too forward to share something personal? Would Levi even care?

He was still having a partial breakdown when he felt a warm hand covering his wrist.

He looked at Levi, who had put down his cup of tea and was staring intently at Eren's face,

“You looked like you were gonna shit yourself,” he said,

Eren's eyes widened and he blushed. He was trying to reply when he noticed a slight tremor coursing through Levi's hand that was still resting on his wrist. He turned toward Levi and, after his arm slipped away from Levi’s touch, he grabbed Levi's hand with his own, squeezing maybe too much, too daring, feeling almost breathless.

His heart was thundering in his breast, his head felt light, but his resolution felt unshakeable—although to be honest he didn't really know what he was doing and where he wanted to go from there.

Levi's eyes had widened just a fraction and he was now staring at their joined hands with an unreadable expression, “Eren,” he almost whispered. He gave a light squeeze. “Eren,” he repeated, as if he was trying to reassure himself that Eren was really there.

Eren felt his heart jumping wildly, and with a bold move grabbed Levi's arms, he threw them around his neck and wrapped his own around the shorter man's chest, holding tightly, scared about the consequences but never wanting to let go.

Levi tensed at first, feeling his resolve crumbling under the weight of the relief he was feeling, and then he melted into Eren's embrace, wanting his closeness, needing his warmth and feeling so tired of burying his affection under layers of duty.

They stayed like that for some time, neither able to really make sense of the time passing by. It felt like there, it that shared space, in that never ending hug, millions of words were being said without a single one of them needing to be spoken.

When they finally let go they remained close, Levi, unable to stop looking into Eren's ever changing eyes, reached up and with his fingertips lightly brushed Eren's overgrown fringe out of his face. Then he settled his calloused palm there, cupping his cheek, tenderly, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb with a gentleness he kept hidden to most.

“You got taller,” he said, heart trying to fly away from his ribcage and throat dry.

Eren couldn't help but chuckle awkwardly. “I guess.” He smiled shyly at Levi, almost unable to withstand the intensity of that gaze but knowing he had to get to the point now or he would risk a whole lot of awkwardness later.

“I wanted to tell you—w-well I've been wanting to tell you for some time now, but... it never seemed like the right moment, and—” he licked his lips, his throat constricting “—I know I'm a monster a-and a brat, and I'm probably assuming too much, but you never made me feel anything less than human and you always believed in me, took me seriously a-and—” he gasped for air “—I just want you to know how I feel. I know this may not be the best moment, and I know we still have our duties, and the future is still grim, and it's not wise to make plans, but I want to spend all the time I'll be granted with you, and I'll be happy with anything you'll let me have,” he finished, eyes bright and full of unshed tears.

Levi was still staring at him with eyes wide, jaw clenched. His heartbeat was definitely out of control, and he was seriously worried he would meet his untimely end because of this boy, but in a way nobody would have expected for sure. He gulped and opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. He was shaking; he almost wanted to laugh. Eren was scared he was assuming too much? If only he knew how much power he had over Levi, how just a look or a smile could make his head light and his knees weak. He'd be happy with anything? Levi would readily give him everything. He settled for grabbing Eren's shirt with shaky hands, pulling him even closer and resting his forehead on the young man's sternum, eyes squeezed shut, asking “Are you sure?” with his low baritone, with a calmness he really wasn't feeling.

Eren cupped his hands on the back of Levi's head, brushing his undercut, and petting the silky black hair he'd been wanting to touch for ages. “Absolutely,” he answered.

He was sure, and that for Levi was enough; he had learned not to question Eren's resolve, and if he said he was sure, then Levi would take his words for true. Levi certainly couldn't dispute his honesty, and he wouldn't dispute his decision: since the beginning he believed Eren had to be given the opportunity to make his own choices, and he wouldn't change his mind now.

Levi opened his eyes and looked up at Eren with new-found resolve. “Then come down here,” he whispered with just the ghost of a smile on his lips, thin brows still furrowed from nerves.

When Eren's lips—still stretched in a blinding smile—brushed against his, he felt like he was breathing for the first time in his life, the butterflies inside his stomach dancing madly. He pushed up against Eren to gain more contact and he felt the taller boy's arm circling his shoulders. The kiss was chaste, tender, and the first of a series of feather light pecks on his thin lips; Eren's kisses were innocent, his lips plump and soft, and Levi couldn't help but take the lower one and suck gently on it. Eren gasped and Levi took the chance to brush his tongue against the boy's lips, wordlessly asking for entrance. The kiss deepened but remained tender, Levi slowly swirling his tongue inside Eren's mouth, tasting his sweetness for the first time, feeling like he never wanted to stop, like he could live forever between these arms and against this chest with his heart beating hard and a sense of peace he never experienced before.

Slowly they separated, breathing hard, still pressing short butterfly kisses as if neither one could bear to let go; they were still struggling for breath when Levi began to speak.

“Eren, I want it too.” He looked up with half-lidded eyes. “I want you close, as close as you'll let me be.”

Eren beamed at him, crushing him close to his chest, and buried his nose in his captain's hair, breathing in his clean slightly tea scented smell.

They knew it wouldn't be easy; they knew the road was still long and dangerous, but for now, here, they were together, and they both knew their hearts were beating in time with the same tune.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Pls say something to me I was scared shitless before posting, ahah.


End file.
